The Ten Worst Songs of 2011: What NOT to Expect
Alright, so my Ten Worst Songs of 2011 video will be posted probably within the next 14 days. And once it’s up, I expect to hear a lot of “Why isn’t ____________ on it!?”. Well, I can’t please everyone, but keep in mind why I feel my opinion on this subject matters: I work with music every day. I’m not someone who THINKS they’re an expert when it comes to mainstream music… I AM an expert when it comes to mainstream music. It’s my full time job. The songs I’ve put on the list are songs I’ve heard dozens, well over a hundred times, it’s not just some song I heard and said “that’s annoying, it’s going on the list”. That said, sorry if your least favourite song doesn’t make the video, but I think you’ll be happy with the end result. In the meantime, here’s a preview of what NOT to expect:
REBECCA BLACK:
I’ve already stated this once in video form, and countless times in comments… I do not recognize Rebecca Black as a legitimate artist. She is an internet sensation, and to add her opens the floodgates. The Ten Worst Songs of every year moving forward would just be a bunch of shitty viral videos… some little girl with rich parents who paid to make a shitty video, some guy who can’t rap but thinks he can, a dipshit screamo band, etc… that’s useless, there’s nothing funny or enjoyable about that video. My video should be titled “The Ten Worst Songs of 2011 Performed by Artists Who Actually Have Charted On Billboard And Have Record Contracts” but that title is too long. So, no viral Internet sensations will make the list.
LMFAO:
In a “Musical Autopsy” video I made about LMFAO, I said that LMFAO can’t be held to the same standards as other artists, because they’re not meant to be heard on the radio, they’re not top 40 artists, they’re club artists. If I include LMFAO, I should include every other club artist, which means that “We No Speak Americano” song by Yolanda Be Cool should make a list, because it’s pretty dumb, “Barbra Streisand” by Duck Sauce should make the list… and again, the list just becomes a list of stupid club songs. If you want to hear me make fun of LMFAO, go watch that video linked above, but they won’t make the list.
ANY SONG I ALREADY DID A MUSICAL AUTOPSY OF:
I’ve been pretty careful not to show my hand this year. Though I did Musical Autopsies this year of Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” and Bruno Mars’ “Grenade“, and I do consider them to be awful songs, they didn’t make the Ten Worst of the Year. Consider them somewhere in the top 20.
LADY GAGA:
Lady Gaga is too generic for me to add to these lists (which sounds funny because she’s fucking weird and not really generic at all in terms of her personality or style). Maybe eventually she’ll make a list, she’s got the potential when she breaks out nonsense lyrics like she did in “Just Dance” (which probably WOULD have made a list of mine had I done one in 2008) or the start of “Bad Romance”, but to be honest, she doesn’t spark any real emotion in me either way, positive or negative.
ROCK:
The “your a raciss!” crowd complained that last year’s list was all rap (it wasn’t) and all black artists (it wasn’t). This year’s list gets a little more diverse actually, and includes a “rock” song (more of a pop rock song but it’s a band that plays actual instruments, in fact two “bands” appear on the list this year). It also includes country, pop, and yes… hip hop and rap. That’s what’s popular these days. If rock music was more popular, there would be a much better chance of more rock appearing on these lists, but it’s not. I think Coldplay sucks… that make you happy? And if I put a Nickelback song on the list, I’d just get accused of being lazy since it’s just too hip to hate Nickelback (and they’re another band who really just sparks no emotion in me either way, which is actually the worst thing you can do as an artist… you want people to love you or hate you. If people are just apathetic towards you, that’s the worst).
I think it’s safe to assume the video will be up no later than the 19th. In the meantime, go back and watch last year’s video again, or enjoy the last two years of my material at my YouTube Channel and my Website (the latter includes a lot more of my early work, and mp3s you can download so you can take my voice with you on road trips, bus rides, or to the gym… might be weird to work out to me ranting but who knows, it might be motivating?).
December 13, 2011 at 2:30 am
hey man!!! can’t wait to see the new list!!! I still watch the 2010 and still laugh my ass off!!!!! you rock!!! never forget it!!!!
December 13, 2011 at 6:16 pm
2010 was pretty funny.
btw: if you don’t want people to call you racist maybe you shouldn’t start off with “this might be racist, but whatever”. First rap music does not equal black people. white rappers pull this nonsense too. second, you kind of sound like you are dismissing all claims of racism by not even taking seriously the accusation – which for someone who works in the music business you kind of have to be blind not to recognize racism.
anyway, what bothers me most about rap and pop music is the absurd levels of narcissism coupled with amazing fragile egos.
December 13, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Actually, I believe I said “I’m sure I’ll get called a racist for this, but, whatever…”, me being dismissive of it for two reasons: 1) I figured that if I point it out, it shows I’m fully aware that I’m a (at the time) 29 year old white guy commenting about music that I’m not in the demographic of anyway, which makes it even funnier to those in on the joke, and 2) because I didn’t think that any logical human being would actually believe I’m racist by explaining facts and using proof to back it up (the example you’re using refers to my comment when I said that [paraphrased] “black artists get angry when other artists do something similar to them, meanwhile white artists just see it as an homage and really don’t care”.
Most narcissistic people have amazingly fragile egos. Working in the radio business and knowing other radio personalities, I know this all too well. Most radio personalities believe themselves to be these amazingly irreplaceable talents. But there’s stages they go through once they are fired… “well fuck you, my fans will rally behind me and bring me back, you’ll see!” then “see?! look at them rally!” then, a week or two later when the listeners are used to the replacement, the “fuck my fans, they didn’t work hard enough… fuck them, I’ll get a job somewhere else in the city and crush that station!”, then when that doesn’t happen (because why would a city hire a person who just got fired, they probably got fired because their ratings were low, or their ego was out of control and they felt they could do whatever they wanted on air), they become severely depressed and realize they’re just a regular human being, which they were all along, but to them this is incredibly damaging. The same rules can be applied to different scenarios/situations for pop artists.
Anyway, glad you enjoyed 2010, and we’re only days away from the 2011 video!
December 15, 2011 at 2:56 pm
People seriously accused you of racism because your list had some black rap artists in it? Jesus, talk about stupidity; do black people *want* us to be racist? It feels like even the most insincere comment with the slightest reference to a person’s skin colour is seen as racist…
Surely calling other black people ‘niggas’ and depicting all women as ‘hoes’ in your songs is more offensive than being included in a derisive top 10 list, eh rappers?
December 30, 2011 at 11:43 am
I really enjoy your videos! I was wondering what mainstream atrists/bands would make a top 5 of your favorite?
December 30, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I think I might just be so jaded by music anymore that I can’t even list favourites, everything that’s not incredibly awful just falls under the category of “if it comes on in the car I won’t change the station”. That said though, I enjoyed “5 O’Clock”, mostly because anything Lily Allen touches is gold… I liked a few songs from Martin Solveig’s “Smash” album, and though it didn’t chart at all I liked a number of songs off of the new Ludacris mix tape, hoping that same fun and energy will carry over to his new album and we won’t have to suffer through more “My Chick Bad” type songs. I also enjoyed Benny Benassi/Gary Go’s “Cinema”, and I don’t think there’s anything bad I could say about anything I’ve heard so far from Jay-Z & Kanye West’s “Watch the Throne”.