The Ten Worst Songs of 2012: What NOT to Expect

So, you’ve watched “The Ten Worst Songs of 2012” and you took it far too seriously, and now you want to know why certain songs aren’t on the list. That’s why you’re here right? Well then, hopefully the answer you’re looking for is here.

 

Psy – Gangnam Style

To be honest, I don’t know if the lyrics to “Gangnam Style” are stupid, because I don’t understand Korean. If you look at the Korean to English translations, they seem a little odd, but literal translations from most languages to other languages don’t make any sense. I can only imagine what a song like “Black & Yellow” translates to in Korean, and how little sense it makes to Koreans (not that it makes a ton of sense here either). Including foreign songs just leaves me open to three things:

  1. Being called a racist (though I’m used to it, because people are morons and don’t know what that word means)

  2. Being told I don’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about (and in this case, they’d potentially be right, my knowledge of Koreans is that they’re crazy about Starcraft and films about brutal revenge, that’s pretty much it)

  3. Being criticized for not talking about other foreign songs (and rightfully so, the second I include one K-Pop song, I guess I need to review them all, as well as J-Pop songs, songs from Europe, Africa, South America, Latin America… and I have no intentions of doing that)

Gangnam Style isn’t hated because of any of the lyrics (because no one knows what he’s saying) or the music (it’s pretty standard pop/dance stuff), it’s hated because it was a viral video that became very overplayed everywhere. If you had to hear the same Mozart song 6 times a day, 7 days a week, for 3 months, you’d be pretty fucking sick of it too. Actual Koreans and people that are into K-Pop tell me that the song is making fun of “swag” and people pretending to act rich, ripping on people that think they’re better than others when they are clearly fakes. Seems like a pretty good message to me.

 

Double Take – Hot Problems, Nicole Westbrook – It’s Thanksgiving, or any other “viral” sensation.

The full title of my video should really be “The Ten Worst Songs of 2012 That Were Made by Professional Recording Artists and That Charted on Billboard”, but that’s too long, and should be implied anyway. I mentioned in last year’s “what not to expect” post, when I omitted Rebecca Black’s “Friday” that I won’t ever include viral videos made by some nobody that became famous. If I included even one of these songs, that means my list really should be just me cutting up a bunch of amateurs on YouTube… wannabe rappers, emo garage bands, girls who can’t sing covering pop artists… and I’d look like a bully, and the list wouldn’t be entertaining at all because no one would know who any of these people are. I also believe that no matter what, bad songs that have charted are automatically worse than anything else, because far more people are exposed to them and their shitty messages. Some kid horribly singing about Thanksgiving will never be worse than a song that gets airplay on MTV, radio stations across the country, in malls, at sporting events, and everywhere else, advocating whoring it up, drug use, and being an irresponsible piece of shit. YOLO though, right?

 

Any song I’ve already done a “Musical Autopsy” for

Last year this was a rule. This year, I broke the rule. Here’s the problem… in 2011, I did 4 musical autopsies, and one was of a song from 2010 that I had already included on that year’s list, so I only had to worry about 3 songs. Because the feature became so popular, I did more in 2012… 6 artists and I believe 7 qualifying songs were “autopsied”. So… there’s a little overlap (I won’t say which one(s) if you haven’t seen the video yet). Regardless, if it was in a Musical Autopsy, and it didn’t make the list, consider it a runner up.

 

Any song by Blood on the Dance Floor

Who the fuck are these guys? I get so many requests to talk about BOTDF, but here’s the problem: I have more subscribers than their official YouTube channel, and many of my videos have more views than a lot of their videos. Go ahead, see for yourself, their user name is “officialbotdf”. Is your local radio station (commercial radio, not college/campus radio) actually playing these guys? If so, their music director is an idiot. Not because they’re awful (I have no idea what they sound like, I’ve honestly never heard a song by them, and I never will unless it happens organically, if they actually have a hit), but because they are nobody. Radio survives by playing hits, by pandering to the masses. If a music director put them in rotation, they’re basically saying “change the channel”. The idea behind every element on the radio, every song, every time the DJ comes on air, is to try and get you to KEEP listening to drag you through spot sets (commercials). If the DJ says “coming up after the break, we’ve got Blood on the Dance Floor”, you’re going to say “who? I’m not listening through 3 minutes of commercials for that!” and you’re going to change the channel. SO… if I put them on my list, first of all I went out of my way to listen to them (breaking another rule of my own about the list, I only include songs I heard organically, either through work, while at the gym, on the radio, or though other “offline” means), and second, I’m now bullying some nobody.

 

Any song by Lady Gaga

People love to hate Lady Gaga, and maybe this would have been her year to appear on the list… if she actually put out a song. Lady Gaga did not put out a song in 2012. Not one. Her most recent single was “Marry the Night”, released in November of 2011, which really didn’t do anything on the charts in 2012, so she doesn’t have a single song that qualifies. Sorry Gaga haters, you’ll have to wait until next year to see if she puts out a song stupid enough to crack the bottom 10.

 

Any song by Pitbull

I’ve seen a number of comments about how awful Pitbull is and how he should be on the list… First, Pitbull had 3 songs in 2012, so anyone that says “Pitbull should be the entire top 10!” is an idiot, so would 1 of his songs be on the list 4 times and 2 of them be on 3 times, or how would that work? Second, I just find him too generic to get worked up over. None of his songs in 2012 cracked the top 10, only two made the top 40, and only 1 of them was certified in the US (“Back in Time” went 3x platinum, most likely because of the tie-in with Men In Black III). If you don’t like Pitbull, that’s fine, like what you want to like, hate what you want to hate, but in my opinion there were 10 songs put out this year that were worse than the three Pitbull put out.

 

Any song that I can’t find anything funny to say about

Again, keep in mind this is all for the sake of comedy, and there’s a reason why I’m now known as the guy who does this… search “Worst Songs of 2011” on YouTube. My video has nearly 3 million views, everyone else ranges from 300 views to 40,000 views. Not to sound arrogant, but you’re not listening to this and sharing it with people because of the songs themselves, it’s what I say about them. If the list was me saying “#10 – [Insert song here] This song sucks because it’s repetitive and boring and it’s stupid… #9 – [Insert song here] I hate this song, it sucks and is annoying… #8 – [Insert song here] I didn’t like this song, it was stupid”… I’d have no fan base. You want to be entertained, and that’s not entertaining. Don’t take this list super serious, don’t say things like “Oh, this should be #4, not #6” or “why isn’t [insert your least favourite song] on the list instead of [insert some song you didn't think was all that bad]”, just enjoy the comedy. Or don’t. Whatever.

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68 Responses to “The Ten Worst Songs of 2012: What NOT to Expect”

  1. Buckley.

    You have officially been claimed a fucking genius. You “Oh snap” ‘ed Nicki Minaj about 5 times, and the video was the most hilarious one I’ve seen. Great work. Can’t wait till ’13 ends.

  2. Danny Gonzales Says:

    You are nothing short of awesome. Great list this year man.

  3. A guy from Buenos Aires Says:

    Awesome list. Laughed my ass off at the ending.

  4. You always have really funny, unexpected things to say and I’m glad you didn’t put those viral songs on there! Your humor is refreshing <3

  5. By far your best video yet. Keep up the good work, Bucks!

  6. Some Oklahoman Says:

    Fucking hilarious as always buck, keep up the amazing work.

  7. Never subject yourself to BOTDF. They’re terrible, and after you listen to them you will feel compelled to harm yourself. Hopefully they just stay nobodys.

    • They aren’t exactly nobodies, just far too explicit for radio,. At least not from what I witnessed, a lot of people know them, but hate them.
      Further more, they have always said the entire point of the band is to make fun of the genre and their fans, most their fans are just too high of the fumes of their many ridiculous colored hair dyes to realize that.

  8. Amanda Perez Says:

    Dear Buckley,

    This may be already a bothersome question for you, but I am going to ask it anyways. Why won’t you make the ten best songs EVER? Majority of your viewers value your opinion because they love the comedy you throw out and it’s fucking hilarious because it is so damn true. This is not a request but simply a question, and I am not begging you to make the video (hey you’re the comedian here, not me and you have the right to post whatever you want to post.) I’m just curious.

    love,
    another random fan :)

    • The ten best songs wouldn’t be interesting to watch. Also, everyones view of best songs greatly fluctuates. For example, your favorite song is not going to be mine. When Buckley does the worst songs, they are equally bad for most normal people. Thats why it works. If he does a top ten best songs, it would just be his opinion. Hope that cleared some things up

    • I thought the same thing, but came to Edward’s conclusion. I am very interested to know what sort of music Buckley likes, though.

    • Yeah I want a top ten list too because A: I’m curious as to what he believes good songs are given the rules he applies to himself e.g., having to hear the songs organically and having to be popular / relevant / in the mainstream and B: His logic behind why he chose them, like the way he logically breaks down why the bad songs are chosen. Obviously he’s a smart guy and I think that’s part of the appeal and success of these videos.

  9. Why don’t you have your own show??? The world needs the truth, not to be lied to that the shiza they listen to is “original” or “music”

  10. A Girl From California Says:

    This year’s was a great list. Loved your take on Nicki Minaj.

    BOTDF is just your generic emo-fuck boy band; singing about sex and drugs to an audience made up of almost exclusively high schoolers, whilst wearing pants 5 sizes too small and enough eyeliner to blur gender lines, with a haircut and slim-fit tee to match the whole ensemble. Take your neighborhood’s richest high school, find the three guys who were most into cocaine, give them wardrobes akin to that of a thirteen year old, and make them sing. Et voilà, it’s Blood on the Dance Floor.

  11. Buckley is funny as hell. My girlfriend and I are just waiting for him to mention that the TY, the beanie baby company, can rhyme better than modern rappers.

  12. Buckley. Great list this year! Nicki Minaj, not too surprised she was on the list multiple times. I nearly laughed my fucking head off at the end. Can’t wait for more videos.

  13. and all songs of Justin biber

  14. I for one, agree with your choices and your reasoning for the otherwise qualified omissions..keep doing what youre doing and everyone who doesnt like it, can go suck a bag of d*cks (Louis CK) :)

  15. BOTDF is good!

  16. I’ve only heard one of these songs, comments included, and you can probably guess which one it is. Psy performed it at halftime during the Seahawks-Bills game in Toronto. So we’re not giving them professional football or good music. If they invade we’ll know why.

  17. John Titor Says:

    I, for one, enjoy how professional Mr. Buckley is about his comedy.

    (It certainly makes up for the poor humor of another certain infamous Buckley on the internet.)

    • Digihamster Says:

      I could have sworn Bom Bom would have made it into the video. A deep lyrical ‘analysis’ would have been interesting…

  18. I know you don’t take requests but 2chainz has to be the worst rapper out there and you seem to agree. The Champ Sports commercial he ended up with literally made me spit my popcorn out of my mouth. What a pile of shit society has deemed to be good music today. The main thing is if its catchy, it’ll be popular. With the exception of Great Big Sea, which you being a Canadian, must know about. But I digress…I love the work you do and I know that you are going to be huge soon.

    Also I accidentally thought you were from the What The Buck show once. I felt kinda stupid afterwards.

  19. I think your videos are hilarious and don’t do blood on the dancefloor I like them but most of their songs are complete and utter crap in my opinion. I can’t judge for you.

  20. I discovered fun. in September 2011 so I really have no problem with it being on the list cause I got tired of hearing it. Just found out about you, you are awesome. Absolute genius.

  21. smokey_mcpot Says:

    i think it’d be great if you organically heard blood on the dance floor at the gym. never heard of em either, but after reading your post on them i just had to get on youtube… i mean, their name is blood on the dance floor. holy shit dude. its music like that that makes me glad i am in my late twenties and this wasnt the music that i grew up to. holy fucking shit.

    love your work buckley… keep on keepin on.

    a fan for life

  22. Buckley, I love this shit. Of course, there’s some stuff I disagree with, like We Are Young (I happen to be a fan of fun.), but it’s still hilarious that you make these jokes about everything. I’ll keep watching everything, and you just keep on doing what you’re doing because you’re the fucking man.

  23. Thumbs up for you and respect from Sweden :D!

  24. Anonymous Says:

    You don’t hear songs from Blood on the Dance Floor because of the lyrics. I mean, on of the songs is called “Well Suck Me.” Some others are “Sluts Get Guts”, “Money and Hoes”, and “Scream for My Ice Cream.” The if you censored out all the curse words they use, you would either hear only 1/3 of the song or a lot of silence. They don’t just hint to sex and drugs, they put it straight out in front of you. I only know this because I used to listen to them all the time, but know I’ve drifted away from the Screamo genre. But one song I will always enjoy by them is Bewitched (that’s probably the only song that could be aired on commercial radio without being censored out because the worst thing they say is “go to hell.)

  25. I enjoyed the list, though I disagreed with the inclusion of fun.’s “We Are Young” (though I agree with hating the name, if only because it irritates my inner copy editor).

    The thing that bothered me was getting on the singer for having an effeminate voice. That part of the video implies that being effeminate is bad if you are a guy, which is somewhat a bash of gay men. I’ve seen your prior videos, and know you are not homophobic, but I also know that these videos tend to be drastically more viewed than others you have done.

    I am trying not be the PC Police, but it bothered me enough that I felt the need to comment on it.

  26. Some random Russo-German chick. Says:

    When translated into English, (You can look the English lyrics on YouTube up) Gangnam style is actually a love song, talking about a nice, pretty girl. .-. It may or may not be making fun of anything.

    • Presta Volwist Says:

      The English translation that’s all over the internet is completely and entirely wrong. It has nothing to do with a nice pretty girl. One of my friends grew up speaking Korean. He actually mentioned that one of the lines had Psy saying: I’m Korean, so I’m smarter than you.
      Korean doesn’t translate very well into English at all.

  27. Dmitri Old Says:

    You scoundrel. I’ve laughed so much I’ve had an asthma attack!

  28. windgiagia Says:

    I can agree with you except for Gaga part :))

  29. Cringlezz Says:

    Gotta pursue this man, but first i’d like to say i enjoy your videos and you drive damn good points about alot of em, but bein blunt, how come you didn’t add “thrift shop” by macklemore? unless you plan on putting it in 2013 ten crap songs.

    • Presta Volwist Says:

      Thrift Shop didn’t hit the charts until December 27, 2012, and became number one on February 2, 2013. That’s probably why.

  30. I have to say I disagree about your botdf statement, because they’re not really no-one, they have a lot of fans, but how often do you hear for example Skrillex on the radio? And isn’t he/aren’t they considered to be quite something?

  31. Awesome list :) At least there is one American that doesn’t have a brain filled with sawdust. No offense.
    Question: What kind of music DO you like?
    Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

  32. Lindsey K Says:

    you didn’t even mention the trees in starships. What is that even about? why would she be a fricking tree?

  33. I always love the songs and this year was good, except I have to say that I am very surprised that “diamonds” by Rihanna wasn’t on it. I mean come on listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWA2pjMjpBs

  34. You sir are my new hero. After I watched the 10 Worst Songs of 2012 I was relieved to see that there are people out there who are trying to take out the trash that exists in the music industry. I dont really hate anyone but there are a few like niki minaj and lil wayne and tinni tempah who have completely fucking ruined rap/hip-hop and took pop down too in a desperate attempt. Why are companies even selling them. it takes 200 lil waynes and additional 200 niki miniajs to sacrifice and make one subway musician and he would still have more talent.

  35. daniel papkov Says:

    if only some one knowed how to rekednise a stupid song

  36. Why in the name of all good things, don’t you have your own TV show? I’d just be sitting in front of the telly like the giant retard or ‘retart’ that I am, especially on New Year’s. Keep up the vids, they’re hilarious! :)

  37. You had me until “hipster bullshit”. Yeah, fun. blows, but hipster bashing humor isn’t, well, humorous. It’s as original and funny as rageface and lolspeak. In other words, it’s a dead horse beaten into a gluey pulp.

  38. “Gangman Style” is probably the only exceedingly overused song that doesn’t rape me in the head most likely because I don’t understand the lyrics – and because I don’t listen to mainstream on the radio. What’s annoying is that elevator scene that’s possibly more overused than the song itself.

  39. I can honeslty ask something that really seemed like pure gold to be reviewed and didn’t make it. Anything by Deuce/9Lives. Seriously, hes white trash tryhard gangster who made most of his songs with a Transvestite Bisexual Cross-dresser, and he stole 3 songs from his old band just to show how trash they were for kicking him out for not being a pretentious little faggot. Most of his lyrics are about explicit sex and drugs. If its not, then its angsty teen emo bullshit. Also one of the biggest things is that he sounds like a leprechaun on cocaine when he sings because he closes his nose when he sings to get his voice higher. He didn’t actually release a proper song+video until 2012, but come on, he made a song dedicated to calling Hollywood Undead faggots for kicking him out on 2010 and made a song in late 2011 with his Vesty Doublefucker Jeffree Star that sounds absolutely horrid. I appreciate what you did chose, but I honestly want to know why the fuck this scrawny white trash not in the list?

    • I guess he didn’t add Deuce or 9 Lives because, like Blood On The Dance Floor, his songs don’t chart or get a lot of radio play. At least not what I would know. The most popular YouTube video of his song has only 1 million views.

  40. I am really scared to see what songs are to await us in 2013. I know you aren’t being racist, to be honet I used to listen to that stuff.. But you kind of grow up and realize that it is all complete crap. I mean now all it is about is Partying, Sex, Drugs (Goes with partying), being “Bad”, and having “Swag.” I seriously don’t even like Dubstep, it honestly just a sub genre, and makes no sense whats so ever. Anyway awesome that you don’t care, but I cannot wait for 2013 crap.

  41. Christ out of pure curiosity I listened to BOTDF…not only was the song shit…the video was irreversibly brain damaging. Don’t sacrifice 4:00 of your life, (trust me on this.) How they got over 7,000,000 views is beyond me.

  42. I like it!! Cool x

  43. goforth115 Says:

    Please don’t ever hate on Blood on the Dance Floor sorry I would have to hate you forever if you did… and I enjoy all of your videos and agree with all you opinions I just couldn’t justify it if you wear hating on blood on the dance floor…

  44. Good thing you aren’t actually going to bother with BOTDF. They’re the shittiest bunch of overgrown scenefags with half-developed brains who are popular among the ‘angsty’ and ‘scene’ teens. And not only that, but one of the members of the band is a pedophile (literally, I’m not even making this up). They’re like Nicki Minaj’s fuckchildren with a rooster.

  45. danielblount Says:

    um mr.buckley could you do a musical autopsy on the band breaking benjamin?

  46. The Maxican Says:

    Have you considered doing a Best songs of the year video?
    You are a fantastic comedian, and I would love to hear about some songs that don’t suck. I’m looking forward to next years worst song list in 2014.

  47. YEAH … WELL I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING BUDDY NO HATERS ON THIS AWESOME GUY!!! :P

  48. Buckley this is Bud Langley I agree with you on that text Disney song

  49. Bryce Ashton Says:

    You suck buckley

  50. great videos. with so much horrible “music” these days. its impossible to cover them all.

  51. First of all, excuse my English. I’m not from a country where English is the first language. So i’ll try my best. Then: Buckley, you’re a god. Really i’ve been following you for a longass time and i’m fucking loving it.
    I’ve read that you were talking about Blood on the Dance Floor. Personally i think they’re awesome and i want them to be succesful on the pop charts. If they ever will do, please don’t attack them. They have a great message; that they want to bring love to the world and make it a better place. Now with songs like ”sexting” and ”it’s on like donkey kong,” i can understand why people hate it.
    But those aren’t the ones that are deep and inspirational. Take a look at their ‘biggest’ hit Bewitched, it’s a breakup song where the singers are being under a spell (he can’t get over a girl) and by releasing the spell being done with her. (dont know if that made sense but hard to explain) It might not be the best example but it’s mostly relatable to the fanbase. Such other songs as ”dont wanna be like you” and ”rise and shine” where they are protesting against bullying, are better works of art.
    Blood on the Dance Floor is an emo band just like Black veil Brides or Sleeping with Sirens, and all 3 have a similair message to the fanbase/world. And all of these bands, i want them to be more succesful. Don’t get me wrong they all have their awful songs but people shouldn’t be judging at just looks or first impressions. If the first song by botdf you heard was ”candyland,” you wont be able to take them that seriously. But if people are going to hate on a group of musicians only because of their looks, they should go back to school and get lessons about people (also dont know if that made sense but i hope you get my point).
    What im trying to say is if one of these bands get popular on the pop charts, please dont hate. they got a pretty nice message. and if it ever happens on a song that is extremely poorly written, bring up the message please.
    Once again Buckley i fucking love your show and please don’t be too rough on some artists (:

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