The Ten Worst Songs of 2011: What NOT to Expect

Alright, so my Ten Worst Songs of 2011 video will be posted probably within the next 14 days. And once it’s up, I expect to hear a lot of “Why isn’t ____________ on it!?”. Well, I can’t please everyone, but keep in mind why I feel my opinion on this subject matters: I work with music every day. I’m not someone who THINKS they’re an expert when it comes to mainstream music… I AM an expert when it comes to mainstream music. It’s my full time job. The songs I’ve put on the list are songs I’ve heard dozens, well over a hundred times, it’s not just some song I heard and said “that’s annoying, it’s going on the list”. That said, sorry if your least favourite song doesn’t make the video, but I think you’ll be happy with the end result. In the meantime, here’s a preview of what NOT to expect:

REBECCA BLACK:

I’ve already stated this once in video form, and countless times in comments… I do not recognize Rebecca Black as a legitimate artist. She is an internet sensation, and to add her opens the floodgates. The Ten Worst Songs of every year moving forward would just be a bunch of shitty viral videos… some little girl with rich parents who paid to make a shitty video, some guy who can’t rap but thinks he can, a dipshit screamo band, etc… that’s useless, there’s nothing funny or enjoyable about that video. My video should be titled “The Ten Worst Songs of 2011 Performed by Artists Who Actually Have Charted On Billboard And Have Record Contracts” but that title is too long. So, no viral Internet sensations will make the list.

 

LMFAO:

In a “Musical Autopsy” video I made about LMFAO, I said that LMFAO can’t be held to the same standards as other artists, because they’re not meant to be heard on the radio, they’re not top 40 artists, they’re club artists. If I include LMFAO, I should include every other club artist, which means that “We No Speak Americano” song by Yolanda Be Cool should make a list, because it’s pretty dumb, “Barbra Streisand” by Duck Sauce should make the list… and again, the list just becomes a list of stupid club songs. If you want to hear me make fun of LMFAO, go watch that video linked above, but they won’t make the list.

 

ANY SONG I ALREADY DID A MUSICAL AUTOPSY OF:

I’ve been pretty careful not to show my hand this year. Though I did Musical Autopsies this year of Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” and Bruno Mars’ “Grenade“, and I do consider them to be awful songs, they didn’t make the Ten Worst of the Year. Consider them somewhere in the top 20.

LADY GAGA:

Lady Gaga is too generic for me to add to these lists (which sounds funny because she’s fucking weird and not really generic at all in terms of her personality or style). Maybe eventually she’ll make a list, she’s got the potential when she breaks out nonsense lyrics like she did in “Just Dance” (which probably WOULD have made a list of mine had I done one in 2008) or the start of “Bad Romance”, but to be honest, she doesn’t spark any real emotion in me either way, positive or negative.

ROCK:

The “your a raciss!” crowd complained that last year’s list was all rap (it wasn’t) and all black artists (it wasn’t). This year’s list gets a little more diverse actually, and includes a “rock” song (more of a pop rock song but it’s a band that plays actual instruments, in fact two “bands” appear on the list this year). It also includes country, pop, and yes… hip hop and rap. That’s what’s popular these days. If rock music was more popular, there would be a much better chance of more rock appearing on these lists, but it’s not. I think Coldplay sucks… that make you happy? And if I put a Nickelback song on the list, I’d just get accused of being lazy since it’s just too hip to hate Nickelback (and they’re another band who really just sparks no emotion in me either way, which is actually the worst thing you can do as an artist… you want people to love you or hate you. If people are just apathetic towards you, that’s the worst).

I think it’s safe to assume the video will be up no later than the 19th. In the meantime, go back and watch last year’s video again, or enjoy the last two years of my material at my YouTube Channel and my Website (the latter includes a lot more of my early work, and mp3s you can download so you can take my voice with you on road trips, bus rides, or to the gym… might be weird to work out to me ranting but who knows, it might be motivating?).