Lost Script: 2011 Norway Attacks

It’s the 2nd anniversary of the attacks in Norway where nearly 80 people were killed by one man (Anders Behring Breivik). It’s also almost the 2nd anniversary of Amy Winehouse’s death.

What follows is a script I partially wrote in 2011 (the ending is missing, and keep in mind it’s a bit shorter than my current work because I only usually did 3-4 minute videos back then). The story goes that I had got home from an evening out, was like “ah shit, I need to make a video for this week”, so slightly inebriated I hit up CNN.com for something to talk about. I wrote this script, then woke up the next morning, re-read it, and decided I needed a new script (Which ended up being “A Dose of Buckley – Music vs The Internet“, one of my most popular videos to date) because it was too dark/angry and didn’t really include any jokes (which doesn’t stop me as much these days, but at that point I wanted things to at least be dark and humorous, not just dark). Any incorrect information is due to the facts being wrong at the time. In the confusion, the death toll was incorrect in both locations until they were able to sort everything out.

Originally Written July 24th, 2011.

So I’m checking out CNN.com because I’m really lazy and couldn’t think of anything to talk about this week, figured something there might inspire me… and I don’t know if you’re a fan of news, but a couple things happened last week, one of them major and one no one should give a shit about… and oddly enough, the one I thought no one should give a shit about? That’s the one being promoted as the important one! So… in Norway, some madman, ONE man apparently, killed 7 people with a bomb outside a government building, using that as a distraction and a reason to claim he needed to do a security check at a political youth camp later that same day, and shot nearly 90 kids. ALMOST 100 people died that day, some of them before their 16^th birthdays, by the hands of one fucked up man. The next day? Some celebrity died. And you know what’s getting more press coverage on CNN.com? The piece of shit Celebrity! Amy Winehouse, 27, found dead in her apartment, early reports say she ODed and if it turns out that’s the case, no one will be surprised… and there were 5 or 6 god damn stories on Sunday still about her, FIVE OR SIX stories! Even my Facebook friends, I had two of them post vague “can’t believe what happened in Norway” type statuses, and then the next day 20 of these people posting in detail about Amy Winehouse, sharing tributes to her and saying how great she was, while others argue about whether or not it’s tragic. Well let me settle that argument right now… WHO CARES?! She’s just one human being, and possibly not a very smart one at that, there’s a chance she swallowed too many pills or didn’t know when to stop pushing down on the plunger, she’s not 80 kids tricked into absorbing a fuckload of bullets from a submachine gun by a guy dressed as a cop! The story from Norway? Sure it’s the headline on CNN, but if you go to the “World News” section, there’s only 3 stories about it, and look what else is in “World News”… Amy fucking Winehouse! It’s unbelievable how completely fucked up the mental state of the world is, that we care more about the death of one person just because they’re famous, but the deaths of nearly 100? Ah, whatever, none of those kids wrote a song about their addictions that later on got remixed by Jay-Z so who gives a shit right? An island full of Scandinavian kids becoming target practice doesn’t sell papers and drive traffic to websites quite like some one-hit wonder who couldn’t sing worth a shit in the first place and wouldn’t have made the headlines for another 40 years if she didn’t accidentally off herself.