Every year I post a list of songs that won’t be appearing in my video counting down the Ten Worst Songs of 20xx. This year, I’ve decided not to do this, because for the most part a song doesn’t make the list because of the same 3 reasons:
- I didn’t think the song was worse than the 10 I chose (people often make a big deal about some pretty bland, boring songs)
- The song didn’t even come out or get popular that year (people often make this mistake)
- There’s nothing interesting or funny to say about the song (the list is still supposed to be a piece of entertainment, otherwise I could just spend 5 minutes compiling a list, post it and be done)
I do however have a set of rules and guidelines that I’ve created for myself to help decide what should and shouldn’t be on the list.
#1: I can break any of my own rules whenever I feel it is necessary
#2: If there is no possible way that a song would have been known if it hadn’t gone viral on YouTube and social media (the song was not officially released as a single by an already established North American artist) it is not eligible for the list of the worst songs of the year
- #2a: If a song goes viral, but it’s by an established artist, this rule may be relaxed (example: Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” was not an officially released single when it got popular, but would have been eligible regardless)
- #2b: The song must be heard by me somewhere in the “wild” (this includes on radio or TV, or in a public venue like a shopping mall, gym, sporting event, etc.) and cannot be played “as a joke”, or be introduced on radio or TV by suggesting that the only reason it’s being played is because it is something popular on the Internet
NOTE: These rules are meant to keep songs like “Selfie”, “Harlem Shake”, “Friday”, “The Fox”, and “Hot Problems” off the list, as well as covers or original songs performed by amateurs
#3: The song either had to be released during the same year as the list, or have peaked in popularity during the same year as the list.
#4: Holiday songs are not eligible (all holiday songs are awful and would just clog up the list every year)
#5: Songs written specifically for movie/TV/video game soundtracks are not eligible (some exceptions may apply, see Rule #1)
#6: Instrumental songs, or songs with minimal lyrics (examples: “Martin Garrix – Animals”, “DJ Snake ft. Lil Jon – Turn Down For What”) are not eligible
- #6a: Songs created specifically for clubs are not eligible. This would also clog up the list with a bunch of EDM with no interesting or comedic points to be made about it other than it’s “annoying”
#7: Covers are not eligible, however songs that include interpolation or sampling are eligible
#8: Not necessarily a rule, but generally if I’ve already ranted about a song in a Musical Autopsy, it doesn’t appear in the Ten Worst Songs list (some exceptions apply, as always, see Rule #1)
#9: A song being “overplayed” is not a good enough reason for it to make the list
There may be a few more (these were never written down previously, they were only in my head), but it all boils down to this: if you feel a song should have been on the list and you’re upset about it not being on the list, you’re taking this too seriously (even more seriously than the guy who just posted a list of rules for creating a list of the worst songs of the year). I picked 10 shitty songs to make jokes about, it’s the opinion of one guy (who happens to hear pretty much every single released every year), you’re allowed to think other songs should have been on the list, but don’t cry if my opinions aren’t the exact same as your opinions. You’re upset that “Jason Derulo – Talk Dirty” wasn’t on my list? Make your own list, put it on it. Problem solved.