Archive for Comedy

A Dose of Buckley #52 – Buckley vs Women

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by adoseofbuckley

If you can believe this, some people think I have a problem with women… I know, crazy right?! Well, though I make some comments that are all in good fun in my videos and on this website, anyone who actually knows me will tell you that I’m one of the classiest sons of bitches you’ll ever meet, but being nice to women isn’t funny… who ever heard a joke that starts with “so, I went and got flowers for a girl the other day” and ends with “and she enjoyed them so much that she put them in a vase right away”, and thought it was funny? No one, that’s who.

Anyway, what issues I may have with the so-called “fairer sex” could possibly be narrowed down to the behaviour of some females that I do not approve of. And since Buckley’s recently single and even more bitter than ever before, here’s a video about why some girls piss me off.

Musical Autopsy: Wiz Khalifa – Black & Yellow

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 26, 2011 by adoseofbuckley

Alright, so I’ve been getting annoyed lately by people claiming that “Black & Yellow” is about the Pittsburgh Steelers. It most definitely is NOT about the Pittsburgh Steelers, and to give you completely irrefutable proof, here’s a Musical Autopsy.

A Dose of Buckley 48 – Gas Prices

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2011 by adoseofbuckley

Gas prices have got completely out of hand… I filled my car up the other day at 137.7/litre (Americans: quit your whining, that works out to $5.21 a gallon, and you think your prices are high), meanwhile everything I read on the news is about oil prices going down based on lower demand. It doesn’t matter who’s to blame, the important question is, who can fix it? Certainly not me, and CERTAINLY not the people who try and create “Don’t Buy Gas Day” events on Facebook… but I know someone who might be able to help. Find out who by watching below:

More of this type of dark humour at A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 46 – Burqas in France

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2011 by adoseofbuckley

Recently, France outlawed covering your face in public. What makes this a real issue is that Muslim women who wear Burqas are breaking the law simply for practicing their religion and preserving their culture. Is France in the wrong? I don’t believe so… watch and find out why.

Advice No One Asked For – Number Seven

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2011 by adoseofbuckley

A favourite segment of mine returns to A Dose of Buckley this week, it’s “Advice No One Asked For”! Really not sure why I stopped doing these… I always enjoy helping people, especially those that don’t want to be helped by me!

This time around, I help a guy who’s suffering from a case of mistaken sexuality. How can he overcome the fact that women think he’s gay? Click the video below and find out!

A Dose Of Buckley 38 – “Missioning”

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

I’ve always had a theory that in 100 years from now, as this generation of morons have even dumber children, that the Dictionary will either become thicker when it includes alternate spellings for words (“Action – see also: Akshun, Actoin, Acshon”) or become pocket-sized when future generations remove words because they’re too big and complex (anything more than 7 letters that can’t just be shortened by removing all of its vowels). The language is in trouble…

So, there’s something frustrating to me about people who are barely literate themselves coming up with new words or uses for new words. In my second of two Dose of Buckley’s this week, I look at the word “Mission”, which is now being used by this generation as a verb (that’s “akshun werd” to some of you). Some examples: “I want to mission downtown this weekend”, instead of saying “I want to go downtown to party this weekend until I can’t see or remember my own name”, or “I’m missioning to Toronto to see [insert name of indie band that hipsters love and no one else has ever heard of] on Friday”.

A Dose of Buckley 38 – Missioning Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 18 seconds)

Check out the rest of my material at my website, A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 36 – Dexter Toy

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 31, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

So, you’ve probably heard the story by now… Ohio toy collector Jim Schultz walked into a Toys R Us, and walked out angry because of a Dexter action figure he found (and strangely enough, purchased, making sure the company profited from keeping the toy in stock). He said that it’s not the toy itself that he takes issue with, however he doesn’t feel it should be sold at Toys R Us alongside Barbie and Care Bears and all those other wholesome toys for children. Apparently, Toys R Us should instead only cater to children, and not make any money from the nerd population that has more money than brains and will buy any action figure that bares a likeness to their favourite TV or movie characters. But is Dexter the most violent thing at Toys R Us? Hardly… this week’s Dose of Buckley below.

A Dose of Buckley 34 – Coupons

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

Who doesn’t enjoy a good deal right? Buy one get one free, get a free something when you purchase something else… it’s great! Problem is… I’ve been running into WAY too many people who either can’t read, or don’t care what a coupon says and just want to try and get a better deal. It’s very irritating. This week’s Dose of Buckley, I share some of my recent experiences dealing with coupon bartering:

A Dose of Buckley 34 – Coupons Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 58 seconds)

You know the drill by now, all my material and censored versions for the children (fun for the whole family!) can be found at my actual site, A Dose of Buckley.

A Written Dose of Buckley – Microsoft Kinect

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

I’ve been thinking about writing more entries as opposed to voicing all of them (if you’re new to this “blog”, all of my content is in the form of 2 – 4 minute long audio segments), which, along with my regular Monday updates and the occasional supplement, means more content for everyone to ignore.

Allow me to nerd out for a moment. I recently read this article at IGN titled “Microsoft Addresses Kinect Concerns“. Microsoft’s “Kinect” is essentially it’s competitive answer to the Wii, however instead of using a controller, it maps your body with cameras and you become the controller. It remains to see how gimmicky it is, as they’ve claimed it will be used for all sorts of games but all the demos so far have looked like high res Wii games; casual games that the hardcore crowd (Microsoft’s main install base) scoff at. I figured THIS would be the concern eluded to by the article’s title. No, INSTEAD the concern is that people are afraid they won’t be able to sit down while using Microsoft’s “Kinect”, because the device has a difficult time mapping a person while they’re on a couch or in a chair. WOW. Good work gamers, you just proved how fat you are, that you can’t stand for any length of time to play a video game, that the concept of exercise, beyond running your mouth into a microphone while playing online, frightens you. This is the sad state of the world we live in, that something new and potentially innovative comes out, and people say “well… can I sit down while using it? If that’s going to be a problem, I’m going have to re-think that purchase…”

Other questions that I assume gamers have about the Microsoft Kinect:
– “Will it malfunction if I’m trying to stuff half a family-sized bag of Doritos down my throat while playing? What if it thinks the bag is actually a second head growing out of me?”
– “Will it automatically pause every 3 minutes so that I don’t have a heart attack from the incredibly strenuous activity of standing and slightly moving my arms?”
– “What if, hypothetically, I’m a highly uncoordinated 22 year old with the body of a 45 year old alcoholic? Will it negatively effect the on-screen movements of the ridiculously over-muscled army man I’m pretending to be in my 3D fantasy world where women aren’t completely repulsed by the mere sight of me?”

This might be the most ridiculous concern about ANYTHING that I’ve ever read… you’re worried that a motion detecting system designed to make games more interactive than ever by detecting your every movement and mapping it into the game won’t work while you’re being a pathetic lump on a couch? If this is a legitimate concern that has run through your bacon-soaked mind, you should seriously consider neutering yourself with anything sharp within reach of your blubbery fingers so that you don’t accidentally produce any future offspring that could end up being as lazy as you are, eventually being the slow, fat, incredibly stupid people that I get stuck behind at the grocery store because they take up the whole aisle trying to decide whether they should buy 6 cases of Diet Pepsi or Coke Zero. I say “accidentally” because there’s no chance anyone would intentionally procreate with these losers anyway, but alcohol makes people make bad decisions.

A Dose of Buckley 30 – World Cup

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

Well, the FIFA World Cup has started, which means that it’s time once again for everyone to pretend to care about a) soccer, and b) their heritage, neither of which they’ve acknowledged for the last 4 years.

A Dose of Buckley 30 – World Cup Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 23 seconds)

The censored version and nearly 2 hours worth of content at my website, A Dose of Buckley