Archive for Comedy

A Dose of Buckley 34 – Coupons

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

Who doesn’t enjoy a good deal right? Buy one get one free, get a free something when you purchase something else… it’s great! Problem is… I’ve been running into WAY too many people who either can’t read, or don’t care what a coupon says and just want to try and get a better deal. It’s very irritating. This week’s Dose of Buckley, I share some of my recent experiences dealing with coupon bartering:

A Dose of Buckley 34 – Coupons Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 58 seconds)

You know the drill by now, all my material and censored versions for the children (fun for the whole family!) can be found at my actual site, A Dose of Buckley.

A Written Dose of Buckley – Microsoft Kinect

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

I’ve been thinking about writing more entries as opposed to voicing all of them (if you’re new to this “blog”, all of my content is in the form of 2 – 4 minute long audio segments), which, along with my regular Monday updates and the occasional supplement, means more content for everyone to ignore.

Allow me to nerd out for a moment. I recently read this article at IGN titled “Microsoft Addresses Kinect Concerns“. Microsoft’s “Kinect” is essentially it’s competitive answer to the Wii, however instead of using a controller, it maps your body with cameras and you become the controller. It remains to see how gimmicky it is, as they’ve claimed it will be used for all sorts of games but all the demos so far have looked like high res Wii games; casual games that the hardcore crowd (Microsoft’s main install base) scoff at. I figured THIS would be the concern eluded to by the article’s title. No, INSTEAD the concern is that people are afraid they won’t be able to sit down while using Microsoft’s “Kinect”, because the device has a difficult time mapping a person while they’re on a couch or in a chair. WOW. Good work gamers, you just proved how fat you are, that you can’t stand for any length of time to play a video game, that the concept of exercise, beyond running your mouth into a microphone while playing online, frightens you. This is the sad state of the world we live in, that something new and potentially innovative comes out, and people say “well… can I sit down while using it? If that’s going to be a problem, I’m going have to re-think that purchase…”

Other questions that I assume gamers have about the Microsoft Kinect:
– “Will it malfunction if I’m trying to stuff half a family-sized bag of Doritos down my throat while playing? What if it thinks the bag is actually a second head growing out of me?”
– “Will it automatically pause every 3 minutes so that I don’t have a heart attack from the incredibly strenuous activity of standing and slightly moving my arms?”
– “What if, hypothetically, I’m a highly uncoordinated 22 year old with the body of a 45 year old alcoholic? Will it negatively effect the on-screen movements of the ridiculously over-muscled army man I’m pretending to be in my 3D fantasy world where women aren’t completely repulsed by the mere sight of me?”

This might be the most ridiculous concern about ANYTHING that I’ve ever read… you’re worried that a motion detecting system designed to make games more interactive than ever by detecting your every movement and mapping it into the game won’t work while you’re being a pathetic lump on a couch? If this is a legitimate concern that has run through your bacon-soaked mind, you should seriously consider neutering yourself with anything sharp within reach of your blubbery fingers so that you don’t accidentally produce any future offspring that could end up being as lazy as you are, eventually being the slow, fat, incredibly stupid people that I get stuck behind at the grocery store because they take up the whole aisle trying to decide whether they should buy 6 cases of Diet Pepsi or Coke Zero. I say “accidentally” because there’s no chance anyone would intentionally procreate with these losers anyway, but alcohol makes people make bad decisions.

A Dose of Buckley 30 – World Cup

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

Well, the FIFA World Cup has started, which means that it’s time once again for everyone to pretend to care about a) soccer, and b) their heritage, neither of which they’ve acknowledged for the last 4 years.

A Dose of Buckley 30 – World Cup Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 23 seconds)

The censored version and nearly 2 hours worth of content at my website, A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 28 – YouTube Comments

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

This week, it’s another DOUBLE DOSE of Buckley! Really, I’m just making up for my laziness as I didn’t post anything last week. I make no apologies, it’s free entertainment. I doubt Maddox will be writing any more this year, so at least I’m one up on him.

ANYWAY, My first update this week is about the mind-numbingly awful YouTube comments I see… pretty much every time I visit YouTube. It’s amazing how little intelligence there is among that entire community of morons. If the spelling and grammar mistakes aren’t enough, the sheer butchering of the language and improper use of words is enough to make you wonder if inbreeding isn’t more prevalent than thought. This update, I mostly tackle the overuse of the word “best”.

A Dose Of Buckley 28 – YouTube Comments Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 3 minutes, 21 seconds)

And as always, the rest can be found at A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 25 – ADHD

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

Good ol’ Attention Deficit Disorder. I guess it’s not really one of those things you can really call “good ol” because the term has existed for a relatively short period of time when you consider the history of medical terminology (then again, so has “AIDS” and I don’t doubt it’s existence). Anyway, someone sent me a link to a website to help people with ADHD recently, and there’s just so much great unintentional comedy, it was begging to be torn apart. Luckily I’m sure people with ADHD won’t mind, a bird will fly by or something and they won’t even make it through this video.

A Dose of Buckley 24 – Taco Bell

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

I really enjoy Taco Bell. I enjoyed it so much that I recently won a large prize pack from the franchise worth a couple hundred dollars. And it’s with this tough-love attitude that I decided to make a few suggestions on how Taco Bell could go about improving their service. No one’s perfect after all, not even a place that makes delicious fake Mexican food!

A Dose of Buckley 24 – Taco Bell Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 31 seconds)

Advice No One Asked For – Number Five

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

I’ve only done five of these, but I think it’s safe to say each one is among the best pieces of content on my site (like that’s a difficult ranking).

It’s Advice No One Asked For! If you haven’t heard these segments before, basically I find some dumb question that someone asked to some dumber advice columnist, and answer it myself because quite frankly, these advice columnists are just not giving these people the answers they need to hear.

This edition, I help a woman who’s struggling with a moral dilemma. Does she let anyone else know the information she has on another woman she knows? Listen for my take on it:

Advice No One Asked For – Number Five (CLICK TO LISTEN, 2 minutes, 33 seconds)