Archive for Dark Humor

A Dose of Buckley 40 – Transportation Security Administration

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

This may seem a little dated already since people were complaining about this closer to American Thanksgiving and even before that, but I’m STILL hearing people whine about it, so I’m going for it…

The Transportation Security Administration introduced a few new procedures for maintaining the security of air travel, and many of these procedures are controversial, because the pat downs have gotten more hands-on in some areas, and they can see you naked via the full body scanner. My stance on this? Simply don’t fly!

The full rant here:
A Dose of Buckley 40 – TSA Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN: 2 minutes, 50 seconds)

The rest of my work (including uncensored versions for the kids) can be found at A Dose of Buckley

A Dose Of Buckley 38 – “Missioning”

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

I’ve always had a theory that in 100 years from now, as this generation of morons have even dumber children, that the Dictionary will either become thicker when it includes alternate spellings for words (“Action – see also: Akshun, Actoin, Acshon”) or become pocket-sized when future generations remove words because they’re too big and complex (anything more than 7 letters that can’t just be shortened by removing all of its vowels). The language is in trouble…

So, there’s something frustrating to me about people who are barely literate themselves coming up with new words or uses for new words. In my second of two Dose of Buckley’s this week, I look at the word “Mission”, which is now being used by this generation as a verb (that’s “akshun werd” to some of you). Some examples: “I want to mission downtown this weekend”, instead of saying “I want to go downtown to party this weekend until I can’t see or remember my own name”, or “I’m missioning to Toronto to see [insert name of indie band that hipsters love and no one else has ever heard of] on Friday”.

A Dose of Buckley 38 – Missioning Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 18 seconds)

Check out the rest of my material at my website, A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 37 – Facebook Stalking

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

First there were sites like FourSquare… now Facebook has its own “places” app that will tell your entire friends list where you are at any given time. Is this a good thing? It certainly is for your potential attackers! Part one of two of this week’s Double Dose of Buckley.

A Dose of Buckley 37 – Facebook Stalking Uncensored (CLICK HERE TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 44 seconds)

Check out over an hour’s worth of content at my site: A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 36 – Dexter Toy

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 31, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

So, you’ve probably heard the story by now… Ohio toy collector Jim Schultz walked into a Toys R Us, and walked out angry because of a Dexter action figure he found (and strangely enough, purchased, making sure the company profited from keeping the toy in stock). He said that it’s not the toy itself that he takes issue with, however he doesn’t feel it should be sold at Toys R Us alongside Barbie and Care Bears and all those other wholesome toys for children. Apparently, Toys R Us should instead only cater to children, and not make any money from the nerd population that has more money than brains and will buy any action figure that bares a likeness to their favourite TV or movie characters. But is Dexter the most violent thing at Toys R Us? Hardly… this week’s Dose of Buckley below.

A Dose of Buckley 35 – Ashley Anne Kirilow

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

So, perhaps you’ve heard the name “Ashley Anne Kirilow” by now. She’s the young lady who decided to take advantage of the last few remaining humans who aren’t completely cynical (those of us who’ve been converted for a long time now call you “suckers”), and faked a terminal illness for her own profit. Now, this is the part of the ever-predictable Buckley rant formula where I post the audio link where I call this woman several bad words that would make a drunken sailor say “wow, that’s a little overboard”, but instead this week… I decide to play devil’s advocate, and ask the question “who are you to judge?”

A Dose of Buckley 35 – Ashley Anne Kirilow Uncensored (CLICK HERE – 2 minutes, 48 seconds)

A Dose of Buckley 33 – Clickjacking

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

Closing out June with another educational edition of A Dose of Buckley.

A number of my friends have been “click-jacked” on Facebook lately, so I felt I needed to explain to people WHY this is happening, what it means, what it can do, and why it’s very annoying to me when it happens! Have a listen, and please… try and learn something!

A Dose of Buckley 33 – Clickjacking Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 45 seconds)

And while you’re at it, get in on the ground floor of the newest Facebook fanpage for people who’ve liked every other Facebook page: “Blindly clicking links on facebook because I’m an idiot!”

More audio fun, including censored versions of most of my work for those who don’t like all those naughty words, at my actual site, A Dose of Buckley

Bad Head – Edition 2

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

What happens when you take poorly written headlines and add poorly written jokes written in poor taste? You get Bad Head!

My second edition of Bad Head, all of the headlines taken from various newspapers from the week of June 20 to the 25th, 2010. My personal favourites: The Spain rail crossing incident, and the “Suspected Tornado”.

Advice No One Asked For – Number Six

Posted in Supplements with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

After a pretty slow May (only two updates), I’m hoping to get back on track in June with more Dose of Buckley’s and Supplements.

This week, I bring back another favourite supplement of mine, “Advice No One Asked For”! In this, the sixth edition of the feature, I help out parents with mooching children, whether they want me to or not (and chances are, they’d rather I didn’t). If you have kids who leech off you, you may find this advice helpful. If you’re someone who leeches off your parents… you may want to make sure they don’t hear this (hopefully you haven’t already shown them how to use the internet).

Advice No One Asked For – Number Six (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 10 seconds)

Editions 1-5, as well as over an hour’s worth of dark and angry humour can be found, as always, at my website, A Dose of Buckley

A Dose of Buckley 29 – Kristen Stewart

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

In my second Dose of Buckley this week, I continue the theme of misused words as I talk about Twilight’s Kristen Stewart and her comparison of the paparazzi to rape. I understand that next week they’re going to publish an interview where she likens not having her favourite brand of soda at the grocery store to genocide.

A Dose Of Buckley 29 – Kristen Stewart Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN – 2 minutes, 25 seconds)

A Dose of Buckley 27 – Count Chocula

Posted in A Dose of Buckley with tags , , , , , , , on May 21, 2010 by adoseofbuckley

You know what’s bothering me? I can’t find any Count Chocula around here! And who’s to blame? Nope, not the government, though I suspect they had a hand in it… instead, I’m pointing the finger at negligent parents who have let their kids get so fat (and stupid, but that’s another rant for another day) that the government had to step in and cut out chocolate as part of a balanced breakfast. It’s just one more thing fat kids have ruined for me (I’m still angry about them abusing the free popcorn at Jumbo video back when there was more than one left in existence, causing some of them to stop offering it).

A Dose of Buckley 27 – Count Chocula Uncensored (CLICK TO LISTEN, 2 minutes, 48 seconds)

If you read the blog regularly (and lets face it, I see the stats, you don’t), you know the drill: Censored versions of my work, and all the archives (well over an hour’s worth now) at my actual website, A Dose of Buckley